Wednesday, April 25, 2012

I. Miss. Blogging.

There.  I said it.  I miss blogging.  It's true.  But no more promises.  No more goals.  No more writing checks my butt can't cash...(is that how that goes?)  Funnily enough (if $185 and eye popping unbelievablity can be funny) right after my last blog post about ... posting more frequently, my kids cracked my laptop screen.  My beautiful new laptop.  My beautiful new expensive laptop. A month later I got it back as good as new, but by then my resolve was cracked.  Yet, here I am, months later, inexorably drawn back to my (sad) (pathetic) (almost couldn't remember the password) (mostly pictures of 15 lbs and 1 Lincoln ago) blog.  I miss it.  Plain and simple.  It is the closest thing to thinking that I do anymore.  So I'm giving it another try.  I've heard it said that if you can acknowledge the things that keep you from your goal, you're that much closer to defeating them (I think it was in Season 3 of Gidget ... something about accidentally having two dates on the same night) So here is a rundown of a few things that have transpired in the interim since I used to blog more often:

* Lincoln.  I love him.  He's a blonde, curly headed, fun-loving bundle of insanity and irresistablity.  However, let's face it.  I'm no summer hen, or spring chicken for that matter.  I think I actually forgot the amount of time and energy that a 2-year old expects from a mother.  If you've forgotten, let me remind you: a lot.  Take all the time & energy you have.  Add a quijillion.  It's somewhere around there.

* Watch Me Drown. So, remember that time I lost my job at, the-company-who-cannot-be-named-cuz-they-read-my-blogposts-and-then-hold-corporate-management-meetings-to-see-if-I-violated-the-negativity-clause-in-my-termination-contract?  Well, back then I was a little daunted, but I also thought about all the wonderful opportunities that may await me.  Like being a business owner.  Then I actually bought a business.  Because I'm insane.  You know that phrase about biting off more than you can chew?  Try, shoving an entire watermelon in your mouth rind, seeds, and all.  And then putting a cupcake in there too, just because it looked good.  And then attempting to wash it down with a Big Gulp.  You get the picture.  That's not to say that I am not still faithfully chewing away...just that it can be a bit much at (almost all) times.

* Netflix. T.M.TV.  A million series I've never even heard of and can't live a moment longer without completing.  Add one bedroom TV, one Roku device, and multiply by insomnia and indefatigable desire for great TV drama. You get the picture.  And let me know if you need any recommendations for something to watch...

Well, actually, that probably about sums it up.  Just three little reasons really.  How could I let such minor things get in the way of my thinking time?  I don't know.  I just know that I need to blog.  It makes me feel connected in ways that nothing else can replace.  It makes me feel like a person.  Not just a wife, maid, mother, friend, boss, maid, cook, did I mention maid? But an actual real-live person.  I don't know if that makes sense.  I don't know if anyone still remembers a girl named Cyndie who used to blog, but I need it.  I'm giving it another try.

Wish me luck.