Friday, May 8, 2009

Mo' Better Blogging ... NOT!

Holy cow ladies! So much for more time to blog .. good heck! Even now, at 10:30 at night, I am having to yell and scream and throw things at my children to get them to leave me alone for 5 MINUTES JUST SO I CAN BLOG!!! I've spent the last half hour just trying to catch up on everyone else's blog posts and now I just want to write a single blog post. Just one blog post. Is that too much to ask for?? Apparently, yes. Yes it is.

I haven't been on the computer in two weeks to do anything expect balance our dwindling checking account and pay our ever-surmounting bills. (Not fun.) Why, you ask? Why is it that I can't find 15 minutes a day to get on the computer? WELL, for starters, I have a husband who has developed a new love affair with Facebook and (go figure.) Add to that the fact that I have three darling daughters who want nothing more than to play on,,,, and Microsoft Paint 24 hours a freaking day. Zariah even started typing the book Go, Dogs, Go into a Word document. I think it's a conspiracy. Even now, as I type, Zariah is watching me type and asking me what c-o-m-p-u-t-e-r spells and what a plural noun is (she is also working on a Mad Lib in addition to spying on me.) Fan keeps coming in with movie choices of what we should watch tonight because apparently my kids NEVER GO TO BED. And Audrina is telling me it is my "job" to put her pajamas on her.

Anyway, with that complaining aside, I apologize for my lack of blogging. Just in case you care.

I am going to take a second (literally, because I think that is all the time I can find) to tell you a few things I have learned in the last couple of weeks:

* 4 hours of yard work is equivalent to 86 hours of office work. (at least)

* My house will never be clean ... ever.

* Naps do not help a mother feel any less tired.

* The effort and frequency of vaccuuming somehow has no relationship whatsoever to the cleanliness of the carpet.

* I suffer from a horrible disease known as LTFA, Low Tolerance for Audrina. (About 10 hours seems to be my limit, preferably 8 of those while she is sleeping.) It is so far incurable, but as we speak the government is issuing millions of dollars in grants to find a remedy.

* Sanity is overrated. Totally.

On the other hand, I did accomplish a few things that I am quite proud of:

* Saving more at the grocery store than I spent ... sans coupons.

* Going through 50,546 (give or take) bins of girls clothes to find summer clothes for the younger two girls and organize the rest. (Don't even ASK me how long that took.)

* Pulling all the weeds in the back and front yards.

* Taking inventory of the deep freeze.

* Causing my husband to both hate and respect my supervisorial prowess. I'm kinda like the Darth Vader of taskmasters. He may try to find a part-time job just to make his life a little easier.

* Baking 4 loaves of bread. Not horrible. Not great. Not sure I'll be doing it again anytime soon.

* Making my own fruit roll-ups out of fresh, dehydrated fruit. JUST KIDDING! I just wanted to see if you were paying attention. Had you going there for a second, didn't I?

More to come. As soon as I can tranquilize my children ... I mean, get them to leave me alone for 10 minutes. Wish me luck!