Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Poor Fall


Oh Autumn. You of the fiery orange vistas and shivery breezes that hint of frost. You of the early sunsets and cornucopias bursting with harvest. You of the ghouls and goblins, the pilgrims and Mayflowers.

People love them some fall. Love. It. My social media feed is filled with pictures of pumpkin-everything recipes, bright yellow and red leaves, scarves, hats...and essentially all things fall.

Can I tell you a secret? I do not love fall. In fact, I kind of hate it.

But it's not really fall's fault. Fall just has the un-enviable position in the lineup of seasons of coming right before winter. And if you think I have strong negative feelings for fall? Well, you should just see how I feel about winter. Hate is not strong enough a word. 
"But what about Christmas??" you ask. Yeah, I don't much like that either. But that's a Grinchy blogpost for another day.

It's like some kind of Pavlovian response, I think. Only instead of being conditioned to the ringing of the bell that signals food, I am conditioned to the season that signals the coming of winter. I cringe, I shudder, I...unsalivate, if you will.

I blame the sunny Southern-Californianess of my upbringing. There the seasons went something like: Winter-ish, Pre-summer, Summer and Post-Summer. Here, it’s something a little more like Deathly-Cold, Slightly Less Deathly But No Less Cold, Smr and Just About To Be Deathly Cold. Nope, not a typo. That’s how short summer feels to me. And, oh, I know. I know that there are many much places that are WAY colder than here. But I am also convinced that if I had to live there, I would die. Simply die. 

But, lest you think me a spoiled Cali brat who is both cruel and unusual to poor, innocent autumn, I have decided to grant fall a reprieve. That’s right. I have seen the error of my ways and have determined this year to stop hating fall. Or at least stop hating it as much. Ya know, so I can save all my energy for hating winter. Who TOTALLY deserves it. 

And how do you stop hating something? Well, you have to remember the good times. Reflect on the positives. I don't know if it works, but I'm totally willing to give it a try. 

So what is it that I enjoy about fall? Not a ton, but a few things. And they may just be the same things that other people enjoy about winter. But to recap, I enjoy nothing about winter. Nothing. So while fall gets the brunt of my winter-hate, I will also give it the benefit of my cold-weather love. Ok, cold-weather like. Love might be taking it a little too far.

#1. Boots
Alright, I do love boots. As more than just a friend. Brown. Black. Gray. Red. Flat. Heeled. Wedged. Leather. Suede. Vinyl. Pull-on. Zippered. Lace Up. All of the above. AND having actual cold temperatures makes the wearing of such footwear practical as well as fashionable. (And pretty. So very pretty.) I saw a stage production of Bram Stoker's Dracula last week, and the only thing that distracted me from the wickedly delicious giddiness I feel about vampires was the heady lust I felt over those fabulous Victorian boots.
Mmmmmm. Boots.

#2. Soup
I am one of those people that has to eat things seasonally. I don't really like pumpkin. I don't care for squash. Apple pie I can do without. But I do love some delicious homemade soup. Potato. Broccoli. Chicken noodle. Clam chowder. Tomato. Salad is for summer. Soup is for fall. Preferably in a bread bowl. With a side of bread. Which explains why my pants rarely fit from October-February.

#3. Sweaters
Admittedly, I liked sweaters more in California. They were more of a this-would-look-great-with-my-boots kind of thing. Here they are more of a if-I-don't-wear-something-warm-and-bulky-I'll-simply-freeze-to-death kind of thing. But that's ok. Because I do like sweaters. They are snuggly. And soft. And warm.
And did I mention, they look great with my boots?

#4. Fires
The crackling comfort of something aflame? Love it. Sure, I only have a gas fireplace and it doesn't really crackle. But it's pretty. And it's warm. And I do like warm.
Do I prefer a campfire at the beach in the summer? Um, duh! But if it is going to be cold outside, a fire will suit me just fine, thanks.

#5. Cold Nights
No, not the kind I have to be outside in. The kind where I am snuggled up in bed with 73 blankets piled on top of me in. As much as I love the heat, I can't sleep when it's hot. I actually turn the AC down lower at night than I do during the day in the summer. And have a fan. And sometimes a window open, too. 
So there is something lovely about finishing a bowl of soup, taking off my sweater & boots, and curling up shivering in bed with 73 blankets to ward off the cold.

See, I'm feeling better about fall already. Five whole things! That's not too shabby. 

And maybe somewhere in there is a life lesson. Or a metaphor for embracing the things I cannot change. Something about serenity or courage or wisdom.

Nah. 


1 comment:

  1. My poor sweetie. Just as I am celebrating the (pretend) coming of Fall, you are dreading it. Sadly, it's what comes of living in opposite climates. P.S. Totally thought "smr" was a typo. And then I died laughing when I realized why it was not.

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