Thursday, October 23, 2014

Dear Blogspot, Why Don't You Prove I AM a Robot??

I don't like having to prove things. People should just take it for granted that I am as funny, fabulous, and neurotic as I say I am. Maybe I've been a mom for too long. Maybe I was already all practiced up from being an awesome{bossy}, fun-loving{controlling}oldest sister. But I really like the phrase: Because I said so. Just 4 short words. Ah, but they convey so much. They say: Leave me alone. I'm exhausted. They say: I promise I know better than you. I promise. They say: I don't want to deal with you right now. They say: Seriously?? I have already given you a million reasons, and you don't want to hear any of them so this is what you get. They say: Just trust that I am an expert on everything. You're welcome.

Just a few short words, but oh so chockfull of wonderful meaning.

I certainly do not relish having to prove things that I, myself, already know are so. If I don't know something, I will usually say I don't know it. If I do know something. Just trust me. I do.

Yes, I am intelligent and hardworking enough to possess a college degree. I promise. What? I have to prove it. FINE! I'll go back to school and finish.

Yes, 12 year old. I am {mostly} smart enough to help you with your math homework.

Yes. I will prove it by letting you yell at me while I help you with your math homework.

Yes, Obama. I really cannot afford a ridiculous health insurance policy with a $10,000,000 deductible. You don't believe me? OK. Try to fine me for not having health insurance. No really. Try.

Yes, helpful Home Depot or WalMart salesperson. I really can find what I am looking for without your inept help. Truly. I am fairly certain I spend more time here than you do.

Yes, mechanic. My car really is making a strange noise. No, I did not imagine it. Yes, I know the difference between an engine noise and the radio. Even though I am a girl. No, I did not take time off work to bring it to you just for fun. Just drive it. I promise.

Yes, random stranger who is calling me in the middle of homework, and screaming, and homework, and dinner, and chaos, and life. I really don't have time for your survey. No matter how brief. Seriously.

That's all I can think of right now. But I swear I spend half of my life proving things that I already know to be the truth. So if I want to catch up on my blog reading (instead of spending one more freaking minute doing homework.) And if I want to post a comment on a particularly funny or touching or true blog post by my friend, or my sister, or a stranger, I don't want to have to prove I am not a robot to post that comment. I don't care if you do ask nicely. Trust me. I'm not.

So why don't you prove that I am.


  1. I'm glad you're not a robot, Cyndie. I can provide testimony as a witness, though, if it comes to it. Gotchaback.

    1. Except I have to first prove I also am not a robot...

  2. Bah ha ha! I particularly love that the way we prove we are not robots is by typing in the numbers of random people's addresses. I am still waiting for mine to pop up.