Monday, June 15, 2015

Sometimes


Sometimes when you don’t expect it, you are given an unbelievably precious gift.

Sometimes you are terrified and you feel horribly inadequate to care for this exquisite blessing.

But sometimes it comes anyway. Even when you feel like you’re not ready.

Sometimes from the moment you lay eyes on this tiny miracle, your life is changed forever.

Sometimes you have no idea what you are doing.

But sometimes you muddle through anyway. Crying. Praying. Hoping that your best effort will somehow be good enough.

Sometimes this gift is a kind and understanding one. And she forgives you for all of your many and constant mistakes.

Sometimes you and she grow up together and teach each other countless lessons.

Sometimes through trial. More often through error.

Sometimes you think that maybe someone else could have done a better job raising her. And you feel like maybe you have done her a great disservice.

But then sometimes she holds your hand and tells you that she loves you. And you know that you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Sometimes you feel a little selfish for needing her so much. But you just keep adoring and depending on her anyway.

Sometimes you send this little piece of yourself off into the world to learn vital and powerful lessons.

Sometimes it is almost too much to bear when those lessons are painful ones. And you would do anything to take away her hurt.

But sometimes you can do nothing. Except try your best to be strong for her during the day. And cry the tears of the anguished at night.

Sometimes this gift you were given so many years ago becomes more caring, and loving, and beautiful than you ever imagined was possible.

Sometimes she moves away to start her own life. And you are so happy for her. But you miss her so much.

Sometimes she struggles and she just wants to come back home. And so much of you wants that, too. But you tell her she can do it. Because you know she can.

Sometimes she finds someone who loves her almost as much as you do.

And sometimes you know that he will be the one to cherish and take care of her forever.

But sometimes you hope that she will still need you too.

Sometimes you worry and fear for them both. Because life is hard. And you don’t want them to struggle.

But sometimes you see them look at each other with hearts full of love and commitment and faith. And that gives you hope.

Sometimes you get to watch as she looks into his eyes and promises herself to him for eternity. 

Sometimes you know that you have just given your most precious gift to someone else.

Sometimes you are not quite ready to let go.

And that makes your heart break.

But then sometimes you remember that this is everything you have ever wanted for her.

And that makes your heart soar.

Because sometimes the things that hurt the most, also bring you the most joy.



3 comments:

  1. So beautiful! Tears running down my face.

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  2. I don't think you could have said this any more perfectly or beautifully. The problem with raising a near-perfect girl is that someone else will eventually want her for their own. Thank goodness it's Zac. (Thanks for the tears, my keyboard needed a wash anyway.)

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