Making Dinner Out of Nothing At All

I am guessing that most everybody knows what it is like to be on a tight budget. If you don't, well...I can pretty much guarantee that the rest of us don't want to hear about it. (Also, can I borrow some money?) 

I don't know how many of you also know what it is like to be on a tight budget and then have a wedding to pay for. If you don't know what THAT'S like, I don't recommend it. In fact, if you can find somebody else who is willing to pay for it, definitely take that route. (Maybe ask the person who doesn't know what it's like to be on a tight budget.) 

To put it simply: Weddings? YAY!! Paying for weddings? BOOO!! 

The point? The point is: I'm broke. 
Like if there were a joke that started off: What's broker than broke, the answer would be: Me. 
The saying: If it ain't broke, don't fix it? Well, I am. I am very, very broke. And there's no fixing that. (At least not until my next round of student loans kicks in.)

However, not withstanding my absolute broke-ness, my kids still expect me to make them something for dinner. Every. Single. Night. Well, besides a bag of salad left over from the California wedding reception and a container of bite-size lemon cakes left over from the Utah wedding reception: there is no food. There is also no money for groceries. (But I think I covered that point, right?) 

As it turns out, my kids do not consider bagged salad and lemon cakes appropriate dinner food. What?? I know. They're a bunch of picky ingrates, what can I say? Enter my phenomenal gift for making meals with very little of anything. I have had a lot of practice, that's for sure. I have been poor more years than I have been ... not poor. Which is where this remarkable skill set comes in so handy. So, in addition to my uncanny knack for recalling every word to every song I have ever heard, and my remarkable super-skill for consistently choosing the wrong line at the grocery store, I was also blessed with a natural flair for creating meals out of ... well, nothing at all. 

What's that you say? That reminds you of an Air Supply song? Hey, me too! So I rewrote it. Because when I am not making meals out of thin air, I am revising lyrics for my own personal (and hopefully your) amusement. 

Without further ado, I give you:

Making Dinner Out of Nothing At All

I know just how to sauté

And I know just how to fry

I know just when to add some gravy

When the pork’s a little dry

I know just how to bake it

And I know just how to steam

I know just how to sear a roast

And when to use the heavy cream

And I know the family’s hungry

Because they tell me all the time

But I know that the fridge is empty

And I haven’t got a dime

And I know the night’s approaching

And I know the kids have to eat

But I’m never gonna make them all the things I saw on Pinterest

And I’m pretty sure that we’re out of meat

But I know that we’ve got celery

And I think some old French bread

And we may not have cheese but we have lots of macaroni

And a little bit of margarine spread

And I’ll throw together something

It’s a feat that’s not so small

‘Cause one of my amazing talents

Is making dinner out of nothing at all

Out of nothing at all, out of nothing at all

Out of nothing at all, out of nothing at all

Out of nothing at all

Making dinner out of nothing at all

Every time I open up the pantry I know 

That I won’t find very much in there

But I can do some pretty creative things 

With only some white rice

Those taco shells from last month will add the perfect crunch

When I sprinkle them on refried beans

I can take that tuna can…I found only one

And turn it to a sandwich on a hamburger bun

Or make a casserole. And if they won’t eat that

Well there’s croutons and a can of beef stew

I can make Hamburger Helper

Even when there’s no ground beef

I can make a grilled cheese sandwich with a biscuit and Velveeta 

And for a garnish I can add a bay leaf

I can make a quesadilla

With tortilla chips and Parmesan cheese

I can make veggie spaghetti with some penne and tomatoes

And zucchini that was in the deep freeze

Maybe tomorrow we’ll have groceries

But the chance is very small

So it’s a good thing I’ve got mad skills 

For making dinner out of nothing at all

Out of nothing at all (out of nothing at all)

Out of nothing at all (out of nothing at all)

Out of nothing at all (out of nothing at all)

Out of nothing at all (out of nothing at all)

Out of nothing at all (out of nothing at all)

Out of nothing at all (out of nothing at all)

Out of nothing at all (out of nothing at all)

Out of nothing at all

Out of nothing at all (out of nothing at all)

Out of nothing at all (out of nothing at all)