Thursday, May 29, 2014

The Story of My Life

I promised more rewritten One Direction. I'm sure you've been waiting with bated breath, so here it is. Many of you were lucky enough never to have heard the Midnight Memories song on which I based my Mid-Life Crisis Hair, but if you have not yet heard this one, well I'm very jealous. (And please tell me where you live and so I can move there.)

The Story of a Mom's Life. Just in time for summer. Oh you know, that time of year when we have to have sunshine because we cannot possibly deal with both snow AND children being home all day. (There's a word for that time of year, it's called Christmas Break and you know as well as I do that if it lasted longer than 2 weeks there are very few of us who could survive it.) 

In the interest of full disclosure, my kids are getting a little bit older so many of our current day battles are less about bedtime and more about ... well, I have 3 girls. I'm not sure what they are about. Neither are they. I just know there's a lot of crying. And pouting. And screaming. And more crying. However, in my last 18 years as a mother I can say with total candor that all of these things are issues I have dealt with. Frequently. If not issues I am currently dealing with (Yes, my fridge does actually stink...or maybe it's the freezer. Or the garbage disposal. Don't judge.)

At any rate, I hope you enjoy my re-written Story of My Life. I hope it lets you know that you're not the only one locking themselves in the bathroom to enjoy a candy bar alone like it's crack. And I hope it makes you laugh. Because without laughter, let's just say that the life of a parent would be less...well, um, livable.


The Story of My Life

Written on these walls is the crayon that I can't erase
Leave the bathroom door open; they're gonna come in anyway
Wake up in the morning and the dishes are still sitting in the sink
Better clean the fridge out...the lettuce is starting to stink

And I'll be up late tonight
The kids won't go to bed without a fight
Demanding drinks of water, a book, a nightlight
With no breaks in between

The story of my life
Now can you guess
Which movie's on? Did you say yes?
That's right...it's Fro-o-o-zen
The story of my life
I'm losing hope
They spend my cash
Until I'm broke
(It's true)
The story of my life

Overflowing in the baskets is laundry that I can't fold
You're lucky I washed it, now put it away like you're told!
I'll wake up in the morning just to do the whole thing over again
Dreaming of the day that I can sleep in until 10.
  
And I'll be hiding out somewhere
I've only got one Coke left; don't wanna share
Go ahead keep getting toys out; I just don't care
Cuz nothing's ever clean

The story of my life
Now can you guess
Which soundtrack's on? Did you say yes?
That's right...it's Fro-o-o-zen
The story of my life
No time alone
Especially when 
I'm on the phone
(It's true)
The story of my life

And I'll be waiting for the day you get along
Cuz something tells me that my patience is not that strong

The story of my life
Now can you guess
Which movie I wish I'd seen 50 times less?
That's right...it's Fro-o-o-zen
The story of my life
Go right ahead
Wear stripes with plaid
My will is dead
(It's true)
The story of my life

The story of my life
The story of my life (the story of, the story of)
The story of my life


2 comments:

  1. Oh, Cyndie. And I thought I couldn't love you anymore than I already do!!

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    Replies
    1. I'm glad you liked it. Love you too my little Katie-kins.

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